Confused.

Heard the news that a friend who was majoring in the same field as I am just changed his major yesterday. I asked him about what brought him to that decision. He said that after much thought, his new major is all he needed for what he wanted to do in the future.

Tonight, I felt as though something struck me in the heart my while I was playing the guitar, which then I stopped playing. I can't recall what I was staring at that moment, but I do know that whatever my eyes were looking at that time wasn't on my mind as my thought went astray inside the collection of memories inside my head. I started to think back about all the things that I have been doing all my life, all the things I have done, what I used to like and who I used to love, before my thoughts and my consciousness were reeled back into reality when my friend who saw me motionless during that time called me and asked, "Kau fikir ape tu Naim?".

There was a pause,
and then,

"Apa aku nak eh? Kau pulak apa kau nak?", I questioned him back as a reply which implied what I was thinking.

I have come a long way following my dream, yet I am feeling that something is still amiss.
I wonder what pushed me to go this far.
This is saddening.
Sigh. I don't think I would want to remember.

Maybe, a good night sleep is all I need