Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Confused.

Heard the news that a friend who was majoring in the same field as I am just changed his major yesterday. I asked him about what brought him to that decision. He said that after much thought, his new major is all he needed for what he wanted to do in the future.

Tonight, I felt as though something struck me in the heart my while I was playing the guitar, which then I stopped playing. I can't recall what I was staring at that moment, but I do know that whatever my eyes were looking at that time wasn't on my mind as my thought went astray inside the collection of memories inside my head. I started to think back about all the things that I have been doing all my life, all the things I have done, what I used to like and who I used to love, before my thoughts and my consciousness were reeled back into reality when my friend who saw me motionless during that time called me and asked, "Kau fikir ape tu Naim?".

There was a pause,
and then,

"Apa aku nak eh? Kau pulak apa kau nak?", I questioned him back as a reply which implied what I was thinking.

I have come a long way following my dream, yet I am feeling that something is still amiss.
I wonder what pushed me to go this far.
This is saddening.
Sigh. I don't think I would want to remember.

Maybe, a good night sleep is all I need

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Have a cup of coffee.


It has been quite some time since I bought this lens. It's actually a manual lens from an old camera I won't go into details about it because it will be boring if I did so. Got it for about 20 dollars I think. Though it is quite cheap, I am not quite happy because of the fact I haven't been having much time to actually use it. Sigh.

Anyways, I just started another new semester in college this week. From what I have been through during my first week, it is sufficient enough to say that I had rough start. It is actually a very long story, but to make it short, let's just say that too many shits happened. Things that should have gone smoothly, as it did to my friends, turned out ugly to me. However, I'm not entirely surprised by it. In fact, I have always anticipated that something bad would happen. 

Still, I am hoping for better days in the future.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A mess to start the new year with.

It is now like less than two days left before the advanced credit test, and I think most of the things that I have studied for Chemistry 2 during the winter break has found their way out of my brain. It's a shame that even though I spent most of my time in my room because it was too cold outside, I still feel like I have studied nothing at all. Perhaps, my consciousness wasn't studying at all when I read the textbook. Whichever that is, it is stupefyingly ridiculous, and I am well aware that all is entirely my fault. I was too ambitious, yet I did not try hard enough.

A friend came all the way from another state and stayed in my room during this winter break.
Life was partly awesome, plus partly at its worst.

Like any other new year, it looks like I'll have to gather myself back to one piece starting a new semester.
Heads up, heads up. Sigh.